Almost A Dream Squasher

Hey. Remember me? Apparently my blogging brilliance (HA!) fizzled out quickly, like a lot of things I commit to in life. Oh, whatever! Don't pretend you don't do the same thing now and then! I guess when things really hit me, I'll share about them. There aren't enough hours in the day to write all the time, what with kids, husband, cooking, cleaning (again, ha!), and Bejeweled Blitz to contend with my time. You get it, right?

Anyway, on to this post. This is an important one for me because it taught me a lot about myself - most of it not good, about my daughter (Adventure Girl) - all of it wonderful, and about humanity in general, but specifically on my cul de sac - again, all of it wonderful. We live on the best street ever.

Adventure Girl (if you have no idea whom I'm referring to, read back a few blog posts - you won't regret it! I hope...) has been telling me for several months that she wants to help "poor people." Now, I'm gonna be brutally honest here. You ready? You sure? Deep breath. Read this fast because it's painful: I wanted to brush her off and I hoped she'd forget about it. There. I said it. I'm a bad person. At this point in life I don't have a burning heart for social justice. I don't really want to work in the homeless community and move beyond my selfish, comfortable existence. It scares me. I'm a little socially awkward and, honestly, I can't think of things to say to my friends sometimes, let alone people that I can't relate to. I pray this changes for me. I want to reach out and love and share and give. I really do.

So, when AG told me she wanted to help poor people my first thought was, "Where do I even park to go under the bridge downtown?!" My second was, "Quick, distract her with cartoons! Ice cream! Park outing!" I'm honestly ashamed to admit that I didn't say, "Awesome! Let's do it!" I'm honestly ashamed to admit that I hoped she'd forget about it. She didn't. I'm glad.

She kept telling people that she was going to make necklaces to help poor people! She kept asking me if we could go buy beads! Now, she loves crafts but, like me, doesn't stick with things for too long. She did this time. She spent a whole afternoon stringing beads on this plastic "string" that never seems to make a tight knot no matter how much I pulled on it. She "accidentally" broke several other fancy bracelets so she could add cool beads to those she was making. She had three items and asked me to walk with her around the neighborhood to see if people would buy them. Wait, what?! This was getting serious. Seeing those poor Girl Scouts begging people to buy their cookies makes me anxious. I didn't want to be one of those pleading parents hoping others would have mercy on their kid. At least they were selling cookies! My kid had plastic beaded necklaces that kept coming apart and were too small to fit over a grownup's head! Sheesh.

She was so excited that I said, "Ok, let's go." We went to the first house and I stood back and let her do her thing. "I'm selling necklaces and bracelets to help poor people. Would you like to buy one?" (I was giving my best "Sorry! Just humor her, ok?" look from a few steps down. How lame am I?!) Our first "customer" bought everything she had and gave her $9 for it. Seriously?! I was expecting 50 cents. Tops. Her (my) confidence was growing, but she needed to make more jewelry. Back home we went and she started beading again. Then Monster Me (again, look back if you haven't yet!) dumped ALL 400 beads on the bedroom floor and refused to help clean up. In fact, the madder she got about cleaning the more scattered the beads got. I'm not kidding, some of them are a 1/4" across and clear. Who makes these things?! Obviously people who don't have a four-year old whose nickname includes the word Monster. Took almost two hours and most of my patience to get it cleaned up. Don't worry, MM helped but it's wasn't pretty. It wasn't pretty.

Next day we hit the pavement again and she sold out again. What generous, kind neighbors we have! Trish, Renee', Chris, Linda, Ruth: you guys are awesome! Adventure Girl raised $50 (including some of her own hard-earned money she put in) to donate to "poor people"!

We decided the best way to do this was to go shopping and fill up the food closet at our church, Bethany Baptist, which is open to the community and those in our church family who need some help. This was a local place she could give to and see her heart at work. I found out what they were short on and gave AG the list, which she carefully copied onto her own pink paper. For two days she kept saying how excited she was to go shopping, as she squealed and jumped up and down. The day arrived and we went to Winco and filled our cart with peanut butter, rice, noodles, and tuna fish. She was so excited to count out her dollars and hand them to the checker. I was so excited to see her like that. She's not a proud kid, she wasn't proclaiming how awesome she is or anything like that. It wasn't to bring attention to herself.

I learned a valuable lesson. I can't believe that I started to discourage her from doing such a bold, loving thing. I guess I'm jaded by the world, living in my own fear, insecurity and inexperience. I want to change. I want to teach my girls the joy of helping others, of sharing their lives - it's not a one way street. The more they give, the more they get. She's a little disappointed that SHE isn't the one handing out her items to those in need. I think maybe some hands-on experience is in our future. Maybe we'll see you under the bridge. Whoa, whoa, whoa... let's not get ahead of ourselves! Maybe we'll see you at the Mission on Thanksgiving. She'll be the one making friends, making a difference and pushing me out of my comfort zone.

"Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with 

actions and in truth." 

1 John 3:18