This is my battle cry when my nemesis, rice, and I clash. My dinner plans start with such optimism and hope! We'll have RICE for dinner! I've tried everything and still I am beaten. Stovetop, rice cooker, white rice, brown rice - even (I'm embarrassed to admit) instant. I mean, seriously. Who messes up instant rice?! Me. That's who.
Inevitably, I am shamed in my attempts to welcome rice into my home. This foe of mine is stronger, trickier, and smarter than I am. I admit it. Every time I say the word rice, it comes out in a sneer. My eyes squint, my jaw clenches and my heart beats a little faster.
I've tried rice many times (and failed) but last night my friend brought over the makings for delicious chicken curry. What is chicken curry's sidekick? The "R" word. You know. Don't make me say it. I started out with white rice on the stovetop. I followed directions (almost). I had less rice in the bag than the instructions called for. I guessed on the water and used just a little bit less than it said, since I was using less rice. Makes sense to me. I timed it perfectly and just before the timer went off, I smelled it. What?! No!! RICE!!!!!! (If you can, picture me shaking my fist at the rice gods who are snickering at my pathetic attempts to feed my family.) Totally burned. What the what?!
White rice: gone. Burned. Stinking up my kitchen. Making my curry question my culinary abilities. It gets worse.
Brown rice: yum. I start getting excited because I've heard that you can't mess rice up in a rice cooker. Well, I just happen to have one. A fancy one. I spent money on this baby because I had faith that it would help me make peace with my nemesis. I filled up the cooker with rice, added the water (After examining the rice measuring cup very carefully, for a long period of time, since it's a little confusing... don't judge.) and closed the lid, breathing a little prayer. We waited in anticipation for the buzzer and... and... sigh.
My first clue that my nemesis had won again was that there was gunky, starchy rice water bubbling up from the steam vent and covering the top of the cooker. Hmm... Next, the fool-proof rice was still crunchy. Seriously?!!
Sigh. A little more water and back in it goes. Ok, ok, this time I KNOW it was operator error since technically I forgot to turn it on. Whatever. Moving on. Back on it goes and finally, FINALLY, hours and hours later we have semi-hard rice.
My curry eyed me balefully.
I'm woman enough to admit when I've been beaten. I may fight again. I may not. Life's too short. Besides, I need to gear up for the upcoming battle with my arch-enemy: rice crispy treats.
Long Live The Noodle!!
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