Edie Jane - The Story of a Very Tiny Baby

Monster Me (Ok, whatever. Her name is Edie Jane. If you're a bad guy, don't track us down. My husband will make you regret it.) is turning four years old today! This is special because she was such a miracle baby. I have to keep reminding myself of that (sometimes several times a day...) during the tough moments. Like ALL of Sunday...

This is Edie's story - it's kind of long, and not very funny and it's more for me to remember. There are cute pictures throughout, though...

A week old Edie Jane with my wedding ring.

The first picture of Edie. They gave this to me before I really saw her
myself and I had to do some serious deep breathing.
That C-Pap mask only stayed on for 24 hours!! Praise God!

Edie's Story

Edie was born 10 weeks early due to my having something called HELLP syndrome. At least, that's what I was told by one of the numerous doctors I saw. It's an extreme preeclampsia that shows up earlier and gets worse with each baby. My body thinks the baby is a foreign invader (kinda accurate...) and rejects it (Not ok!!) Julianne was born 4 weeks early and usually (with regular preeclampsia) future babies are fine, but with HELLP it gets worse each pregnancy. I didn't know I had it until the next pregnancy. So... long story short - we barely made it. My blood pressure was crazy high and I was so drugged up on magnesium to prevent seizures that I don't remember much except being in a terrified haze.

I was at Willamette Valley Vineyards' Wine, Cheese and Pear festival, (don't worry, I was only sampling the food that time!) with several girlfriends, and got a call that I needed to get up to the hospital in Portland that very day. Of course, I was like, "Are you freaking kidding me?! She's too little! I still have 2 1/2 more months! I haven't even had a baby shower yet!" My husband was at his Army drill weekend and I had my 2 year old at home with my mother-in-law. I called him in a panic and he was able to leave to drive me up to the hospital, where I spent the next six days trying to keep my blood pressure down and the baby in. The hubs was scheduled to leave for California and then Iraq for a 14 month deployment within a few weeks. Originally he would have missed Edie's birth. The Army was actually gracious (thank you, thank you, thank you!) and let him skip the California training so he was here for the birth, the five weeks she was in the NICU, and for one week after she came home. Then it was me and my two girlies for over a year.

Back to the hospital... Apparently, I have a "hostile uterus", so she wasn't growing well. But, there was something amazing - I had the steroid shots to help her lungs because they knew they we weren't going to sustain the pregnancy much longer. The doctor did an ultrasound to check for practice breaths (I had no idea that babies practice breathing inside!) So, the doctor was watching and watching the screen and I was getting nervous. Then he said that usually babies do a few little flutter "breaths" with their lungs to practice, but my little fighter was doing continuous "breaths" for a very long time. He said he'd never seen it sustained so long before and he was a specialist! The hubby was with our then-2-year old each day while I was up in Portland. I remember being so scared and stressed, which really did nothing to help the blood pressure. He would bring Julianne up to visit me and she couldn't even sit on my bed because it would move the stomach monitors and alarms would go off. I hated that stupid monitor. I just wanted to hold Julianne, I was so lonely. And, when it was time for them to leave he would have to carry her out crying and I could hear her screaming/crying all the way down that hall that she wanted her mommy. It broke my heart. That was the longest I'd been apart from her. I have a strong faith, but I think, looking back, it'd never really been tested until then. What was God trying to do?! I was going to have a very premature baby and be alone for most of it without my husband around to help. I read a verse in the Bible that I'd never noticed before - that's how God works, isn't it? He gives what we need at exactly the time we need it, if we're listening. We're never alone. The verse is Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." Four years later and that verse still brings back the emotions of that time, and God's faithfulness. My heart was scared and wavering, but I kept repeating under my breath, "My mind is faithful, I trust you, give me your peace. You promise your peace. I trust you."

So... they kept telling me that we were trying to keep her in until 30 weeks - as soon as you hit 30, the chances of developmental problems go way down. She was born the morning of the first day of 30 weeks, by C-Section. They had to knock me completely out, because the anesthesia wasn't working and I could lift my legs and felt all the test-pricks. Yikes!

Yes, there's a baby in there!

We called her Saggy Baggy for awhile...

Edie Jane was born on March 12, 2009 was just 2.5 pounds, 15 1/4" long. I vaguely remember them wheeling me on the bed, into the NICU, past an incubator with a little bird-like creature with a mask over it's face in it, but I was so drugged that's about all I remember. I didn't see her for at least a day. I ended up having to stay in the hospital for my own needs, because they couldn't get my blood pressure stabilized, for a week longer. Which really sucked. I hated it. My baby was in the NICU, and I was laying in a bed, pumping milk every 4 hours for a baby I didn't get to feed. They wrote her name with a heart around it on the white board that I stared at all day, as all the emotions of my baby, my husband leaving, being away from him and my other daughter, and all the post-pregnancy hormones coursed through me. I'm an emotional person anyway, so I was teary quite often. The nurses kept asking me if I was ok or if I wanted the chaplain to talk to and I kept telling them I just needed to cry it all out and go home! I think I was the crazy lady on the floor.

Finally I was able to start walking down to the NICU to visit her. I was so excited to go for one of her feedings and so disappointed when it took 5 seconds for the less-than-one ounce of milk/formula to go down a tube in her mouth. She was still too little to touch & hold, her nerves were too sensitive. Eventually I was able to Kangaroo Hold and have her up against my chest. I'm not kidding, her head was the size of a tennis ball. I was so scared to touch her. She looked like a naked bird - all bones with saggy flesh around them.

She had an attitude even then - flippin' off 
the world. 

Her little feeding tube.

But... and here's where the miracle part continues: she was perfectly healthy. She wore the c-pap mask for only 24 hours, then she was breathing on her own! That was crazy. The nurses nicknamed her Polly Pocket and said she was SO feisty. Apparently, she almost rolled herself over at negative 2 months old. They were all very impressed with her and told me she was a fighter and I should be thankful for her feistiness now, but better start praying for her teenage years. So true!! I just said to the hubs last night, after she had a major attitude issue, "What are we going to do when she's a teenager?!" Start praying for us now. Please. Pretty please.

Finally they told me my blood pressure was stable and I could leave the hospital. The problem was, I had to leave without my baby. It was the worst feeling, I felt like the worst mother, driving away. Of course, the awesome nurses at St. Vincent's shooed me out and said there was nothing for me to do except stare at her (which I didn't mind doing), and my family needed me at home. We live an hour from the hospital, so every day we'd drive up and I'd spend time with her, hold her, try to nurse, stare at her and wonder what our future held, then I'd leave again. I was never able to fully nurse her (Don't judge me, I tried everyday.) but I kept pumping (Every three hours for five months, I deserve an award for that!) so I was able to feed her my milk mixed with formula with the extra nutrients she needed. I still have NICU flashbacks when I smell hand sanitizer.

Me and Edie-Bitty.

We celebrated with each gram, ounce and pound she gained. We celebrated when she finally got butt cheeks. We celebrated when she hit 3 pounds and before she was 4 pounds they told me she was sustaining her own body temperature and would be ready to go home soon. As excited as I was, I was glad we waited till she hit 4 pounds so I didn't break her!

One week after we got home from the hospital with Edie Jane, my hubby left for Iraq. It was a tough time. I HAD to rely on God for the strength, patience, peace and joy I needed each day to take care of those two little girls (Edie was very needy and colicky, and Julianne was very angry and emotional that Josh was gone) while worrying about him overseas. I have a great family, church family and MOPS group who helped me so much!

She loves big sister!

So... long story short (HA!!) Edie is four!!! She challenges us, makes us laugh, is so silly, feisty, and smart. She's still pretty small, well, petite but tall. She hasn't had any developmental problems from an early birth and we're thankful everyday for her. Here are some cutie-pie pictures of her in the last four years:

At the Children's Museum - she's
always been a character!

Enjoying the beach.

Unicorn Horn Hair phenomenon - she STILL gets this.
I love it!!

Easter. Obviously...

Her 3rd birthday party.

Edie Jane!