Bad morning? It's OKAY! Yelling at my child to stop her yelling? It's OKAY! Don't feel like getting the glitter out for crafting? It's OKAY! Would rather spend time playing Bejeweled Blitz to beat my high score (Like that's gonna happen. This week was awesome!) than have a dance party in the living room with Monster Me? It's OKAY! Put her in front of Yo Gabba Gabba so I can write a blog post? It's OKAY!! I can TOTALLY be a slacker now, because I'm just an okay mom. I went to bed so excited!! Squeal!
Then I woke up and started doing all of those things. Seriously. Except beat my high score - not for lack of trying. And at first I was like, "Yesssss!" Then I was like, "Hmm." I started getting grumpier and grumpier, and more unhappy with myself.
What's that old saying about if you reach for the clouds you'll only reach the clouds - or something like that. Obviously, I'm more of a stars-type girl since that saying has never been spoken by me. There's this raging war in me to WANT to be the best. Okay is NOT okay. Do you know how mad I get when I don't have the highest score in Bejeweled? But... do you know how often I don't have the highest score? Ha! Like everyday! I live in a state of frustration. Because I'm not the best, and I never will be. I really don't like glitter. I'd really rather play on the computer. Maybe it's laziness, maybe it's weariness. I don't know, but I don't like not even trying. I don't want my kids to remember me always telling them to go away because I'm on the computer. I don't want my husband to come home to a nagging, crabby wife everyday. How horrible a life is that for all of us?!
On the other hand, it's okay to not be perfect! It's okay to lose the struggle sometimes! It's okay to cry yourself through until naps or change the time on the clocks so bedtime is earlier, because it's hard! (This was me yesterday! This is why I grasped with joy at the Okay Mom concept!) It's okay to have messy floors, a glitterless house and a child watching Yo Gabba Gabba. (At least she's learning a song about not biting her friends which, I guarantee you, will come in handy.) It's okay to sit in the clouds sometimes, but it's not okay to settle in there and never look up.
Can you relate? Are you the World's Okayest _______ (insert whatever you are in life right now: wife, mother, child, barista, teacher, lawyer, friend...)
So, how do we start reaching for the stars in a cloudy world? When no one notices, cares or pats you on the back for your obvious awesomeness? I have no idea. Sorry. Let's let each other know if we figure it out, okay? Part of it, for me, is to not compare myself to others I see who really seem to be the Best Moms. You know they're not perfect! Maybe more on that in the future... I need to see what makes MY house, family, and life happy and strive for that.
A few minutes ago I did a one person poll (does that work?!) and asked Monster Me if she thought I was a good mom. She said no. Come on!! Seriously?! I asked what I could do to be better. She said give her cookies and play a game. Instead I shooed her away so I could finish writing. Probably didn't score any mom points. Maybe I'll live in the Okay Clouds until noon, then get the Princess Friends Forever game out. I just know there's glitter involved...
By the way, this absolutely isn't a pity call for people to respond and say what a good mom I am - in fact, I'm telling YOU: YOU are obviously awesome, YOU'RE doing a wonderful job, and I think YOU'RE a great ________! (fill in the blank)
Get ready for the cheesy saying... Are you ready? You sure???
Let's reach for the stars!
(Imagine me thrusting my fist into the air and holding that pose for 3 seconds.)
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